Former Ivy League dean Blackman advises parents to prioritize family meals

Drusilla Blackman, a former dean of admissions at Harvard and Columbia, told Business Insider Mkt that parents of college‑bound children should eat meals together as a family and ignore advice from neighbors when aiming for elite schools. Blackman said the ritual of shared meals shows admissions officers that a student comes from a supportive, stable home, which is a key part of the “holistic” evaluation process.

The comment comes as elite colleges tighten their focus on character and background. In recent years, schools have shifted from pure test scores to looking at a student’s community, family environment and personal growth. Blackman, who oversaw admissions during a time of major policy changes, has seen that families who keep regular contact at home often produce students who are more resilient and self‑aware. She warned that neighbors and peer groups can spread myths about what colleges want, and that parents should not let those myths shape their child’s narrative.

Blackman’s advice is not just about eating together. She also recommends keeping school‑related conversations private and authentic, building long‑term relationships with teachers, and focusing on real interests rather than “check‑list” activities. She noted that a single, genuine conversation can carry more weight than a dozen extracurriculars. Some parents have already started family dinner nights that include a quick discussion about school projects, a trend that has been praised by teachers who say it helps students articulate their goals.

The next step for parents is to adopt these habits early. Blackman will speak at a series of webinars for parents in the coming months, and her book on admissions strategy is set to hit shelves next spring. If the advice takes hold, more families may prioritize home stability over flashy experiences, potentially shifting the balance of what elite colleges deem impressive. The result could be a more authentic, diverse group of applicants who bring genuine stories to campus.