James Gray criticizes society for stifling men's tenderness

Acclaimed American filmmaker James Gray used a high-profile press talk at the Locarno Film Festival on Tuesday to push back against the idea that men must hide tenderness, saying society still “doesn’t allow” straight men to engage with the softer side of life without judgment.

The 54-year-old writer-director, whose latest film “The Tutor” premiered in Locarno this week, argued that men are effectively boxed into a narrow idea of masculinity that treats vulnerability as weakness rather than a natural human trait. “We still haven’t figured out how to let men have a tender side without it being seen as a threat,” Gray told reporters, adding that the pressure starts early—from family, peers, and the wider culture. He contrasted this with the more accepted space given to women to express emotion on screen and off, calling it a “real imbalance” in storytelling and real life.

Gray also took a sideways swipe at his own domestic life, calling his wife and their two children “fantastic” and “great,” but adding they are “not very good for drama.” He suggested that stable, loving families—while personally rewarding—rarely produce the kind of conflict that fuels compelling cinema. The remark drew knowing laughs in the room and underlined his broader point: that real tenderness and real conflict are often seen as mutually exclusive, especially when it comes to male characters on screen.

The timing of Gray’s comments is no accident. His new film, “The Tutor,” centers on a lonely mathematics professor who slowly opens up to a student, exploring quiet acts of kindness and emotional risk. Gray has spoken before about wanting to make films that reflect emotional truth, not just action or spectacle. With the industry under growing pressure to diversify both on-screen representation and behind-the-camera voices, Gray’s stance adds another voice to the debate over what kinds of male roles get greenlit—and who gets to decide what’s “man enough” to put on film.