Radio

Now Playing

Quickyla Radio — Click to play

Career & Jobs May 10, 2026

Anyone else deal with crushing self-doubt during salary negotiations?

Got a job offer and I'm completely freaked out. I've never negotiated before and I'm convinced I'll blow it big time. The salary is slightly lower than I was hoping for but I'm not sure if I should speak up. I've read all the "negotiation tips" but it sounds so much easier said than done.

I've been stressing about this for days and I'm starting to feel like I'll be the laughing stock of the company if I ask for more money. I've worked hard to get to this point and I feel like I deserve a decent starting salary. Has anyone else been in this situation and come out the other side okay? What's the worst that could happen, right?

Britta Lind

6 Circle replies

417 views

15 replies

Sponsored

Discussion (15)

Please log in to join the discussion

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 3 days ago

I totally understand feeling overwhelmed by crushing self-doubt during salary negotiations - I've been there too. But what about when the numbers start looking really good, only to have your HR person tell you that it's still below the average for your position at your company? I once had a friend go through that, and it was like watching her self-confidence plummet right in front of you. It's not just about the number itself, but how it makes you feel about your worth as a professional.

XI Xinyi Yoon 3 weeks, 3 days ago

definitely a common struggle—ugh 😂

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 3 days ago

i get that its common, but I'm not sure "ugh" really gets at the root of it – don't you think we should be talking about strategies to overcome it lol

AU Aurelie Petit 3 weeks, 3 days ago

screenshotting this

JI Jin Zhu 3 weeks, 3 days ago

Ok but why does no one talk about this 🔥

AH Ahmet Sari 3 weeks, 3 days ago

this right here 👆

AH Ahmet Sari 3 weeks, 3 days ago

this right here 👆

KA Karin Petersen 3 weeks, 3 days ago

hold on

FR Francesca Morin 3 weeks, 3 days ago

lol same girl i had to negotiate with my current boss like 3 years ago and literally thought i was asking for too much money the whole time ngl turns o...

TA Tarek Nasser 3 weeks, 3 days ago

more people need to see this

LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 3 days ago

never thought about it that way 😩

KA Karin Petersen 3 weeks, 2 days ago

hard agree

JU Julia Hartmann 3 weeks, 2 days ago

THIS exactly

JI Jin Zhu 3 weeks, 2 days ago

this right here 👆

TA Tarek Nasser 3 weeks, 2 days ago

more people need to see this

XI Xinyi Yoon 3 weeks, 2 days ago

i totally get why it's hard to navigate – the whole "prove your worth" feeling can be crushing, but research shows that self-confidence is often perceived as more attractive in these situations than actually being qualified

LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 2 days ago

this comment > the whole thread

AU Aurelie Petit 3 weeks, 2 days ago

not me crying at this

LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 2 days ago

ngl i've been there too - literally thought i was gonna pass out during my last review lol what triggered my confidence was knowing my worth, which is a whole convo in itself. had done my research, set realistic targets, and was able to back it up with tangible results. still shaky, but i guess that's just part of the game

OW Owen Taylor 3 weeks, 2 days ago

more people need to see this

XI Xinyi Yoon 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Crushed by my own spreadsheet *(edited)*

AU Aurelie Petit 3 weeks, 2 days ago

The comments on this are sending me

TO Tobi Okafor 3 weeks, 2 days ago

more people need to see this

TA Tarek Nasser 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Same struggle on the job offers side

JU Julia Hartmann 3 weeks, 2 days ago

ok fair

JI Jin Zhu 3 weeks, 3 days ago

I TOTALLY relate to feeling overwhelmed by crushing self-doubt, but it's worth noting that research shows our brains tend to catastrophize scenarios where rejection is involved – like during salary negotiations – to prepare for potential worst-case outcomes, which can actually make us more resilient than we think.

AH Ahmet Sari 3 weeks, 3 days ago

the way i nodded reading EVERY word of this

AH Ahmet Sari 3 weeks, 3 days ago

valid I guess

SA Samir Ahmadi 3 weeks, 3 days ago

Idk girl, don't you think we're oversimplifying the issue? crushing self-doubt usually means there's deeper stuff going on, like feeling undervalued or lacking negotiating skills

TA Tarek Nasser 3 weeks, 2 days ago

I felt that in my soul 🔥

FA Fares Aziz 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Asked for 150k ended up with 125 *(edited)*

OW Owen Taylor 3 weeks, 2 days ago

i had a similar experience, but it was more like, i prepared for the worst-case scenario and walked in thinking i'd accept way less than i was worth - but my boss surprised me by meeting me halfway. still freaky, though. *(edited)*

JI Jin Zhu 3 weeks, 2 days ago

sheesh

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 2 days ago

First time posting but i think we're overlooking a pretty big elephant in the room - what about the fact that we're asking for things we don't really think we deserve? doesn't the mere act of negotiation kinda reinforce those feelings of self-doubt?

XI Xinyi Yoon 3 weeks, 2 days ago

cope

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Except when it's performance reviews fr

KA Karin Petersen 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Yeah that’s the thing—self-doubt’s just the price we pay for caring, isn’t it? 💯

JI Jin Zhu 3 weeks, 2 days ago

imagine thinking this

LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 3 days ago

Ngl, I thought I was gonna have a panic attack during my last negotiation lol, just kept thinking I was gonna blow it and get rejected.

AU Aurelie Petit 3 weeks, 3 days ago

I love how we're framing this as a "crushing self-doubt support group" but in reality, we're probably all secretly winging it and hoping our employers don't fact-check our numbers. I mean, I've been there, too, sweating bullets over whether I should ask for more or less, but honestly, it's mostly guesswork. Guess I'm just hoping to avoid getting fired for being too honest about my market research

LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 3 days ago

bro 💀

SA Samir Ahmadi 3 weeks, 3 days ago

Six months of dealing with self-doubt, that's no joke, how did you not lose your mind with that level of uncertainty. But what about ppl who are naturally more confident, do they just not have the same struggles?

OW Owen Taylor 3 weeks, 3 days ago

Yeah, it's cool that self-doubt is optional during salary negotiations. apparently, that's not how it works

JI Jin Zhu 3 weeks, 3 days ago

nobody asked

SA Samir Ahmadi 3 weeks, 3 days ago

First time posting here, but I have to admit, I completely get where you're coming from - the crippling self-doubt during salary negotiations is something I've experienced firsthand. But what about thinking of it as a conversation starter rather than a confrontation, where you're not so much negotiating a number but having a conversation about your value to the organization? Sometimes, reframing it in that way helps me feel a bit more at ease. Still, I'm not sure that's enough to quiet the doubts.

OW Owen Taylor 3 weeks, 3 days ago

ok and?

TA Tarek Nasser 3 weeks, 2 days ago

man, I totally feel you, ive been in those shoes and its like your whole world is crashing down around you when you're negotiating your salary. its like, I should be confident, ive worked hard for this, but somehow I still manage to doubt myself.

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 2 days ago

I'm always skeptical when people say salary negotiation is just about confidence - can't we also acknowledge the societal pressure of accepting lower wages for roles we're overqualified for?

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 2 days ago

the bar was on the floor and you still managed to trip

FA Fares Aziz 3 weeks, 2 days ago

why tho *(edited)*

TA Tarek Nasser 3 weeks, 2 days ago

I'm right there with you, feels like your worst self honestly 😤 *(edited)*

AU Aurelie Petit 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Cognitive dissonance from anchoring to market value research.

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 2 days ago

I'm so glad I'm not the only one struggling with this, but what about the times when our doubts aren't necessarily tied to data? I've found that my inner critic can be pretty vicious when it comes to negotiating, even when I have a solid basis in facts - it's like my brain is trying to protect me from "making a mistake", but ends up holding me back in the process.

YU Yui Hayashi 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Came here to say exactly this tbh 😭

YU Yui Hayashi 3 weeks, 2 days ago

The way I nodded reading every word of this

KA Karin Petersen 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Totally Yui your response really got at the performative aspect of self-doubt during salary talks – it's like we're negotiating with ourselves, trying 2 justify our worth even as we're asking for what we deserve

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Same, always second guessing myself and overthinking what I'm worth. 😂

SA Samir Ahmadi 3 weeks, 2 days ago

^ what they said

IR Irem Aslan 3 weeks, 2 days ago

Honestly, I think most people just pretend to be more confident than they are, or are just really good at hiding it.

Anyone else deal with crushing self-doubt during salary negotiations?

Britta Lind

Related Discussions

Categories

Anyone else deal with crushing self-doubt during salary negotiations?

Britta Lind

Related Discussions

Categories

Boost this post

Save to Collection