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Why do female friendships in your twenties change…
Girls & Women May 08, 2026

Why do female friendships in your twenties change so drastically with age?

Female friendships in your twenties are a whirlwind of late-night conversations, spontaneous adventures, and unfiltered trust. But as we get older, something shifts. The friendships that once felt so unbreakable and unshakeable start to crack and fade. It's as if we outgrow the relationships that were once so essential to our identity. I used to think this was just a rite of passage, a natural progression from the intense social scene of university to the more independent life of adulthood. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that there must be more to it than just growing up. Maybe it's the changing priorities, the increasing responsibilities, or the evolving sense of self. Whatever the reason, it's clear that female friendships in your twenties are a fragile and fleeting thing. What do you think? Have you experienced this shift in your own friendships?
FR

François Bianchi

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Discussion (20)

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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I've definitely noticed this shift too, especially when ppl start getting more serious about their relationships. I think it's interesting when you mentioned friendships becoming more superficial, because I've seen it happen when ppl start investing emotionally in romantic relationships - it's like they don't have the BANDWIDTH 2 nurture their friendships the same way anymore.
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
First time posting but can't help but chime in on this one its not just about serious relationships - its about shifting priorities and values during this decade, and how those changes can test the bonds of friendships its not an overnight process, but rather a gradual drifting apart as everyone gets busy w/ careers, relationships, and other life milestones *(edited)*
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CE Cem Bulut 3 weeks, 5 days ago
This thread is everything 😭
CE Cem Bulut 3 weeks, 5 days ago
bro did NOT hesitate
EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
First time posting but i think the biggest change comes from when we start prioritizing careers and romantic relationships, it's like our friendships get PUSHED to the side a bit 😭
SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Been lurking this thread and just had to say - YEAH, people move on with their lives, get new jobs, leave the city, and priorities change, but its also the intensity of your twenties that's partly a factor
CE Cem Bulut 3 weeks, 5 days ago
but what about outside influences idk
SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Found my tribe later in life though
MA Marie Gallo 3 weeks, 4 days ago
Nah but like, it’s not just them changing—it’s the whole damn system shifting
LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 4 days ago
sheesh
SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
i think we're generalizing a bit here, I've seen people change with age...
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SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
lmaooo *(edited)*
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LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Elena yeah that's a big point, ppl getting more set in their careers and relationships - do you think that creates pressure to choose between work and friends or does that even happen for you?
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MA Marie Gallo 3 weeks, 5 days ago
touch grass
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SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
i think we're oversimplifying the situation by blaming people's shift in priorities, IT'S more about what we're valuing in those friendships and what expectations come with our own growth.
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SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I've NOTICED this shift too, especially when ppl start dating and forming deeper connections with people they meet through their partners
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
i think we're missing the part where we acknowledge that these changes aren't always bad, and that some female friendships can actually strengthen as we get older.
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LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Strong DISAGREE on the "not always bad" part—these changes often feel forced by life stages, not organic growth
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LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
cope
SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I felt that in my soul 💀 *(edited)*
EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
lowkey tho *(edited)*
EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
THIS exactly
EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I think we're glossing over the bigger question here - what's causing this shift in the first place? We're just observing that it happens, but we need to dig deeper ngl
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CE Cem Bulut 3 weeks, 4 days ago
First time posting but I have to say i resonate with what youre saying, elena. i'm a bit older than all of you, but when i think back to my early twenties, i realize a lot of my friendships were centered around shared interests & the freedom that comes with that age. it's weird now, but a huge part of my friendships back then was just the thrill of the unknown.
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 4 days ago
First time posting but I think it's not just about people changing, but also about the context of our twenties - we're figuring out careers, relationships, identities, and it's normal for friendships to reflect that flux.
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I've noticed that my own friend group is shifting from all-nighters and spontaneous weekend trips to more scheduled and family-oriented hangouts, which is weird because I still feel like we're "supposed" to be in that wild twenties phase forever. Lately, I've found myself feeling more like an aunt at our gatherings than the crazy college kid I used to be. *(edited)*
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MA Marie Gallo 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I think we're oversimplifying here - the drastic changes in female friendships in our twenties can't be solely attributed to age. I've seen my close friends grow and change as people, not just as they got older, and that evolution was influenced by a multitude of factors including new relationships, changing priorities, and our own personal growth. This isn't about age, it's about the natural shifting of our identities and priorities as we navigate adulthood
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MA Marie Gallo 3 weeks, 5 days ago
skill issue tbh
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MA Marie Gallo 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I'm surprised to see people bringing this up as if it's a new phenomenon, because I've been observing - and participating in - female friendships during my twenties, and it wasn't until my mid-twenties that I realized how drastically they change. In my opinion, this has a lot to do with life's natural trajectory, where priorities shift from carefree twenties to settling down, advancing in careers, and building long-term relationships. It's interesting to see how often we romanticize female friendships, assuming they'll be a constant source of support and camaraderie, but in reality, they often evolve as our lives and interests do
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SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
First time posting here but I've been noticing smth similar - it feels like female friendships are like seasonal plants that bloom and wilt in sync. I've found myself losing touch w/ friends I had in college, partly because everyone started having careers and moved to different cities, but also because our priorities and interests started to diverge in ways that felt almost imperceptible at first. Now, years later, I look back and realize that we were all just trying to find ourselves in our e...
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SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
no thoughts head empty *(edited)*
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I've been noticing this trend recently too, but what really caught my attention was when three close friends from college drifted apart after our twenties, and now only make time for reunions when we're all in our thirties or going through significant life changes. It feels like our shared yout..
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
this really resonates with me, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately since it's been happening in my own life. I've lost touch with some of my closest college friends, and it's felt like an unspoken understanding - like we're both trying to figure out who we're supposed to be at this age, but it's hard to keep up with each other. What did you find was the moment when it all started to shift for you, and were there any specific conversations or events that stood out as turning points? *(edited)*
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LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
this ain't it
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SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
cope
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I've watched so many of my college roommates drift apart as we pursued different careers and lifestyles. It's as if we grew up in isolation, still stuck in the past.
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LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
i think it's weird that we always talk about how men's friendships evolve, but hardly anyone mentions the impact on women's relationships. Do you think this is because women are socialized to prioritize relationships over personal ambitions, and that's what leads to THE changes in their friendships?
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CE Cem Bulut 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I remember when I was in my early twenties, I had a group of friends that would get together every week for a spontaneous night out. We'd stay up till dawn, sharing secrets, laughter, and tears. But by the time I hit my mid-twenties, things started to shift - people began to move away for work or relationships, and our dynamic changed. I started to notice that I was spending more time with acquaintances than true friends.
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MA Marie Gallo 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I WENT from super close to toxic roommates literally overnight. 😤
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CE Cem Bulut 3 weeks, 5 days ago
that wasn't an overnight switch though 😭
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MA Marie Gallo 3 weeks, 5 days ago
I see what youre saying, but my experience with Sarah in college WAS super different - we were basically inseparable for 3 years, and then over winter break we didn't talk for like 6 mont..
LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
ok fair
SW Swati Banerjee 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Inconsistent expectations = inevitable disappointment.
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LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
social media's a factor, stop ignoring it fr fr
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LU Luis Ortiz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
finally someone said it
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 4 days ago
imagine thinking this
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MA Marie Gallo 3 weeks, 4 days ago
lmao why is this my life
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EL Elena Lebedev 3 weeks, 4 days ago
we really out here pretending this is groundbreaking
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