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Girls & Women Apr 28, 2026

Why do female friendships in your 20s feel like a minefield now?

Used to think female friendships were supposed to be easy—like, low-maintenance and drama-free. But now? It’s like walking on eggshells. One wrong text and suddenly you’re either ghosted or in a group chat you didn’t ask to be in.

I’ve lost count of how many friendships fizzled because someone got a boyfriend, moved cities, or just decided they didn’t vibe anymore. Is it just me, or did we all get way more sensitive in our 20s? What do you think?

Liesel Schulz

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Discussion (44)

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NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

We're expecting each other to be therapists ngl

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

Therapists ngl is pretty much my entire 20s in a nutshell lol 😩

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

underrated take

SO Sophie Dupont 1 month ago

saving this comment

OL Oliver Smith 1 month ago

underrated take

GI Giorgio De Luca 1 month ago

this right here 👆

FR Franz Wagner 1 month ago

nobody asked

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

^ what they said

YA Yasmin Hosseini 1 month ago

someone finally said it

JA James Smith 1 month ago

this needs more upvotes

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

Ive had this same problem with friends i used to have in college theyd always analyze my relationships like they were their own and want me to do the same for them fr fr

MI Min Guo 1 month ago

Same feeling i've had girls where you're supposed to be besties then one day there's a huge misunderstanding cuz nobody actually knows how to say sorry anymore & it all just snowballs into this toxic thing where everyone's hurt & NOBODY wants to apologize

DI Dila Demir 1 month ago

But like why do we suddenly need to unpack our childhood trauma every time we hang out

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

Trauma just gets excavated now recieve receive* social media makes it easy to find the pieces of yourself that are already hurt 💀💀

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

living rent free in my head now

OL Oliver Smith 1 month ago

Female friendships: a disaster movie you didn’t audition for 💀

AH Ahmet Polat 1 month ago

bro 💀

FR Franz Wagner 1 month ago

cringe

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

living rent free in her head now like that's a new one dude

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

were all so hungry for connection, but nobody's cooking

OL Oliver Smith 1 month ago

connection is like wifi in my 20s - super unreliable

FR Franz Wagner 1 month ago

We're just not valuing authenticity anymore

SO Sophie Dupont 1 month ago

not you thinking anyone cares

FR Franz Wagner 1 month ago

i feel this

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

Ugh, remember when we used to just vibe over dumb memes and now it’s like we’re all secretly auditioning for the same supporting role in each other’s lives?

edit: to clarify im not saying its always like this, just my experience

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

and I oop

OL Oliver Smith 1 month ago

had a friend from high school come over last weekend and she was talking about how this one friend from college had "dissed" her on socials, and we spent the next 45 min gossiping about which side was right and who's been in the "friendzone" since undergrad. feels like we're all just perpetuating some weird, toxic cycle.

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

THIS exactly

OL Oliver Smith 1 month ago

couldn't agree more *(edited)*

GI Giorgio De Luca 1 month ago

screenshotting this

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

ghosting feels like the new ghosting 😂

YA Yasmin Hosseini 1 month ago

Tried navigating a friend group in my late 20s where everyone's on different paths - some are moving in, others getting hitched, and me trying to adult in general. now everyone's "congratulating" each other on their life milestones but honestly it feels like one-upmanship and I'm just over it.

YA Yasmin Hosseini 1 month ago

Ugh same but i think it's bc everyone has so many "close" friends from social media now and it's hard to distinguish actual friendships

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

it's not the twenties it's being a functioning adult not gonna lie

NO Nour Rahimi 1 month ago

glad I scrolled down far enough to find this

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

THIS exactly *(edited)*

OL Oliver Smith 1 month ago

couldn't agree more

SO Sophie Dupont 1 month ago

and people wonder why this platform is dying

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

Just started posting here so bear with me - i woke up feeling a bit anxious about this post and then spent the last hour reading it and i think my main takeaway is that we're all just trying to figure stuff out (myself very much included) and the ones who don't admit that are probably just pretending to have their lives together *(edited)*

MI Min Guo 1 month ago

oh god, remember when we could just say "I'm free Friday" without it turning into a 48-hour text chain about whose feelings got hurt when you picked the other person's movie night over theirs? Now it's like diffusing a bomb.

SO Sophie Dupont 1 month ago

no thoughts detected

OL Oliver Smith 1 month ago

it feels like everyone's judging each other's boundaries fr

PI Pierre Greco 1 month ago

yeah but boundaries aint new people just never had TO think about em before tbh

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

more people need to see this

LO Lorenzo Ricci 1 month ago

this comment > the whole thread

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

social pressure & comparison are key

LO Lorenzo Ricci 1 month ago

sheesh

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

RIP

HO Hoang Do 1 month ago

no thoughts detected

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

We're just focusing on the 'why' of it and not enough on the whats missing - real deep conversations and vulnerability

LO Lorenzo Ricci 1 month ago

nah this crazy

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

been there. it gets better but not in the way you expect - at least for me, it had nothing to do with the relationships themselves, but more about my perception of what those relationships were supposed to be vs what they actually were

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

anyway

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

valid I guess

YA Yasmin Hosseini 1 month ago

ratio

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

we really out here pretending this is groundbreaking

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

why is this buried? this is the real answer

SO Sophie Dupont 1 month ago

Gaslighting in female friendships

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

Yeah but what if the gaslighting is just the default setting now like we’re all running on 2% battery and any emotional labor feels like a betrayal

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

First time posting but ive found occured occurred* all these expectations and pressures to be constantly supportive and available kinda overshadow the actual depth of our friendships - people don't have time for that anymore and it feels like we're all jsut pretending otherwise

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

living rent free in my head now

GI Giorgio De Luca 1 month ago

Living rent free in your head now tho whats actualy going on w/ those "friendships" when everyone's constantly ghosting each other do you really...

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

my god, this is like my life right now... literally had a "friend" ghost me after 5 years because i didn't "invest enough" in her new boyfriend and apparently i wasn't a good LISTENER enough.

LO Lorenzo Ricci 1 month ago

People keep talking about "FEMALE friendships" like they're the problem but is it really just the friendships themselves or are we talking about something deeper like how everyone's struggling to form actual connections cause everyone's too busy ghosting each other?

HO Hoang Do 1 month ago

this comment > the whole thread

DI Dila Demir 1 month ago

came here to say this

LO Lorenzo Ricci 1 month ago

Are we still holding women to teh same social etiquette

MI Min Guo 1 month ago

imagine thinking this

AH Ahmet Polat 1 month ago

It feels like we're all dating each other. 👀

HO Hoang Do 1 month ago

what's changed from high school to college for you all - did you guys move into a new crowd or is it something about being in a more intense academic environment that's ratcheting up teh drama imo

SO Sophie Dupont 1 month ago

Actually the problem isn't that weve lost the high school dynamic or college vibes its just that we're all expected to be independent now and have our own stuff going on and there's not really a built-in group or common space to form new friendships anymore that's what's missing

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

Remember when YOU could just vent about your boss and your friend would laugh and say 'ugh same' instead of launching into a 20-minute therapy session about your childhood? Now it’s like every convo is a pop quiz on emotional labor.

PI Pierre Greco 1 month ago

how do YOU deal with people who ghost you after you've made plans, but still expect to just show up to future ones? *(edited)*

MI Min Guo 1 month ago

Ugh, remember when I tried to plan a girls' trip with my college friends last summer and it turned into a 3-day group chat where everyone kept adding "but what if" until we just canceled everything? Now I just text one person at a time like a serial monogamist of friendship.

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

not me personally attacked by a forum post

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

First time posting but, been lurking on this sub for a while now. i guess what i've noticed is THAT a lot of ppl are talking about how draining and superficial female friendships in their 20s can be. what really stuck out to me though is how much pressure is put on being 'supportive' - like, we're supposed to be there for every crisis and always offer the perfect, non-judgmental advice. it's hard to admit, but sometimes i just want to talk about my own stupid problems without being asked to fix someone else's too

LO Lorenzo Ricci 1 month ago

glad I scrolled down far enough to find this

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

couldn't agree more

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

basically just cancelled on my girls last night

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

I think we forget that female friendships in our 20s are still figuring out the rules, and that's a process that can go from super cute to super messy in a single weekend - i was at a friend's birthday party last year and i overheard two friends arguing because one had "borrowed" the other's scarf, not realizing it was their 5th "lending" incident in 3 months

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

everyone's trying to be the queen

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

cringe

FR Franz Wagner 1 month ago

the bar was on the floor and you still managed to trip

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

imagine thinking this

JA James Smith 1 month ago

I totally get what you're saying, but what about when female friendships in our 20s aren't necessarily minefields because of drama or competition, but because we're all figuring out our own priorities and identities, and it's hard to know when someone's being supportive or just trying to keep up appearances? I had a friend in college who ghosted me during exam season because she was overwhelmed, and it took me a while to understand that it wasn't a personal rejection, just a desperate situation

LO Logan Jackson 1 month ago

just send a group text saying "don't friend me"

DI Dila Demir 1 month ago

Female friendships in my 20s have always felt a bit like a tightrope walk, but lately, it's like we're all holding our breath waiting for someone to trip up, and honestly, that's really exhausting, but what about all the friendships that aren't like this, are they just the exception?

SO Sophie Dupont 1 month ago

Everyone wants to be the priority now not gonna lie 👀

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

First time posting but i've been reading this subreddit for ages - i used to think female friendships in my 20s were all about being super honest with each other and having these deep, cathartic conversations, but honestly, its been feeling more like a never-ending cycle of guilt trips and passive-aggressiveness lately - is it me being too sensitive or is everyone just playing a different game now?

NA Natasha Morozov 1 month ago

Ah yes, the classic 'did I just get friend-zoned by my friend or is she just bad at texting back' dilemma fr

MI Min Guo 1 month ago

Tried to have girl code coffee with ex's bf and it imploded tbf

Why do female friendships in your 20s feel like a minefield now?

Liesel Schulz

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Why do female friendships in your 20s feel like a minefield now?

Liesel Schulz

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